From Down the Hall
by Jalen of the Silence
Summary: A collection of one shots showcasing your favorite Eva characters facing every day situations in an unconventional manner. Chaos insues. Rated T for terrible humor.


Disclaimer: You know the drill I don't own it.

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Scene one: Why you shouldn't borrow Kensuke's magazines

Shinji Ikari was exhausted. Not just tired, but run the gauntlet and back drop dead tired. He had been stuck with clean up duty by himself _again _and then had been subjugated to rigorous synchronization training and by rigorous I mean sit and do nothing for five hours. It may not be physically taxing, but you try thinking at a forty meter tall biomechanical leviathan for a quarter of the day and see how you feel. To make things worse Misato had made him get a part time job at the corner store to help cover his "girlfriend's" living expenses as it seemed NERV was unwilling to pay for the Angel to live there despite the fact she was technically their responsibility. So needless to say after training and spending an additional five hours listening to people complain about the sale prices of candy bars he was ready to pass out. All he wanted to do was enjoy a hot meal maybe watch some mind rotting teley with Sachiel before collapsing in his small but warm futon.

His plans for a nice relaxing evening, however, were quickly shot to hell when he opened the door to his flat. For when Shinji entered the apartment he was greeted with a sight that blew his mind with the force equivalent to an N2 mine. Sachiel stood before him wearing a maid outfit of all things, a very skimpy maid outfit that left very little of the angelic beauties lithe body to the imagination. To top it all off she had put on a pair of cat ears, the kind that move with your thoughts, and a tail both of which were the same silvery gray shade as her hair. For some reason she was also holding a martini glass full off a ruby hued beverage.

"Ummm… Sachi, sweetheart why are you dressed like that?" He managed to stammer out after the initial shock wore off. She blinked her crimson eyes cutely while her robotic feline accessories twitched.

"I read in a magazine that you would enjoy seeing me dressed as such upon your return," She explained cocking her head to the side curiously the adorable action only serving to add to her overly sexual appearance. Shinji could feel a massive blush heat up on his face which he did not fight as it meant there would be less blood flowing to another part of his anatomy, not yet at least.

"Is there something wrong?" She asked innocently. 'Strange this is not the reaction that the magazine told me to expect.'

"What magazine did you read this in?" Shinji inquired.

"I borrowed it from Kenskue, he said that if I were to be your girlfriend than I was required to do as the articles instructed," she replied with her normal level of naïve innocence.

"You're not required to do that to be my girlfriend," Shinji said sweat dropping. He would have to have a talk with the bespectacled boy tomorrow about lying to the ignorant Angel about the nuances of human relationships.

"I see," Sachiel responded, she sounded oddly disappointed. "Then I suppose you are not pleased with my appearance?"

"No, no, you look very beautiful!" He exclaimed fearful that the beauty before him would begin to cry as she was apt to do when she believed Shinji was rejecting her.

"Really!?" Sachiel instantly brightened up at his words.

"Really, I think you look amazing Sachi, I like it a lot." He was about to ask her where she got the outfit, but decided it was better if he didn't know.

"I am very happy to hear you say that, now drink this," said the Angel shoving the Martini glass into Shinji's hand. Shinji stared down at the glass with trepidation before taking a tentative sip. An intense complex flavor exploded over his taste buds, it was indescribably good and it reminded him of a tropical paradise.

"This is really good!" He exclaimed downing the rest of the drink. He suddenly felt a hundred times better, his exhaustion replaced with a vitality he had not experienced since coming to Tokyo-3. "What is it?"

"Liquid essences of my soul," Sachiel said brightly a large smile plastered on her impish face. Shinji instantly paled upon hearing that.

"You mean I just drank a part of you?" Sachiel nodded in response.

"That was your blood I just drank wasn't it?" Shinji asked, he did not sound happy. Sachiel nodded again still smiling brightly.

"Am I going to grow a core now?" Shinji inquired growing worried.

"Yep and you are going to need it to for what I have planned for you tonight!" Sachiel shouted exuberantly her smile turning from happy to mischievous instantaneously. Shinji suddenly felt very, very nervous.

"Ummm," was all he managed to say, the gears in his brain having come to a grinding halt from the proverbial wrench the Angel's words had thrown in them.

"Now come on Shinji-kun I want to try out all the stuff I learned!" Sachiel cheered grabbing the shell shocked boy by his hand and dragging him off towards his bedroom. "We are going to have so much fun!"

That poor, poor bastard oh well. This omake is sponsored by Hentai, because real girls won't dress like this.

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A/N: This was inspired by a scene in the last chapter of Chuckman's Crisis of Infinite Shinjis in which there is a Shinji sitting on the couch watching TV with a human form of Sachiel. It's a good story you should go read it. Go on, I'll wait….. Okay you're back, good wasn't it? Anyway this is just going to be a place for me to put up random ideas that pop into my head, but aren't fully formed enough to warrant a full-fledged story. This is going to get sporadic updates as Shattered Glass is my top priority at the moment which chapter two will be out shortly I just have to finish the final revisions. As always please review as your words are what inspire me to keep writing and your criticism will help me become a better writer. Until next update, so long and good night.


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